We are about to experience one of the greatest boundaries there is… ringing in the New Year. While we can create a fresh start any minute of any day, there is so much energy and excitement around the beginning of 2025 that we might as well use it to its full advantage.
The end of the year is always a great time to reflect on the past 12 months and envision and plan out the next 12.
How to Reflect on the Past Year
Like any year, 2024 was difficult for many people. If you are one of those people, you might be tempted to leave the past year in your dust, giving it the middle finger as you charge into 2025. It’s understandable (we’ve all had years like that) but not particularly helpful. No matter how bad (or good) the past year was, it’s worth taking some time to review what happened and what didn’t.
As you reflect, ask yourself these questions:
- What went well this year? Celebrating your wins (even the small ones) trains the brain to look for the good.
- Is there something that could’ve gone better? This doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong or failed. Everything is a learning opportunity when you see it as such.
- Are there habits or beliefs that you’d like to leave behind when the clock strikes midnight on December 31st?
When it comes to beliefs, there may be some that aren’t serving you. Here’s the crazy part… they might not even be yours.
Whaaaaat!?!
That’s right, you may be holding on to someone else’s beliefs. A parent or other figure from your childhood, a boss, a client, a friend, etc.
I’ll give you an example. My husband and I are watching Seinfeld right now. It’s my first time. I was old enough to watch the show when it first came out, but my mom didn’t like it. For decades, when friends would make Seinfeld references (which happens A LOT), I would just giggle and pretend I knew what they were talking about.
Until one day, my husband called me out about it.
“Have you ever watched the show?”
“I don’t like it,” I told him.
Then I thought about it. I had never really watched it. My belief that I didn’t or wouldn’t enjoy it, wasn’t my belief. It was my mom’s.
The show is hilarious and as soon as I could identify that I was holding onto someone else’s belief, I could release it and enjoy. We watched the “Master of My Domain” episode last night, and I can finally giggle honestly.
What Are You Unavailable For in 2025?
We tolerate a lot. Whether it’s nuisance emails or calls, a toilet paper holder that drops the roll with any spirited tug, people who only call you when they need something, employees that always have excuses, clients who cancel at the last minute, or negative or intrusive thoughts that appear to be running the show, we get to put our foot down and say “No more!”
I spent about 30 minutes today unsubscribing from email lists I’ve somehow been added to. (Except for Star Nursery. I NEED to know when plants are on sale). In 2025, I’m unavailable to waste time deleting emails that I’m never going to open.
I’m also evaluating the people in my life. For years, I’ve been guilty of keeping people in my life because “they’ve always been there” or because I feel some obligation to spend time with them even if I don’t particularly enjoy their company, they take advantage of me, or they repeatedly disrespect me and my boundaries. No mas! (My Duolingo is paying off)
This coming year, I’m unavailable for bull shit.
What are you unavailable for? Now is the perfect time for a life edit (more about that next week).
What Are Your Commitments in the New Year?
I know, I know. The popular term is “Resolutions.” But let’s be honest, we’ve all set resolutions in December that were abandoned by January 5th. Resolutions don’t work because we set vague, often unrealistic goals and have no plan to carry them out or accountability in place to keep us focused.
That’s why I like to call them Commitments. When you commit to something, you are pledging to take action. When you take (the right) consistent action, you achieve your goals.
Twelve months from now, how do you want to answer those reflection questions?
Here’s a hint… make sure it’s what you want.
Much like me adopting my mom’s beliefs about Seinfeld, us people-pleasers will adopt other people’s goals too. This can happen in one of two ways:
- They tell us what we should be doing. Where we should be working. Who we should How we should eat, exercise, speak, raise kids, blah, blah, blah. Thinking they know better than we do and wanting to please them, we stop listening to that little voice inside us that guides our dreams, and we adopt someone else’s vision for us. (Spoiler alert… this doesn’t end particularly well.)
- Someone we care for has big dreams of their own. Feeling responsible for everyone around us, we completely abandon our own goals to help them reach theirs. (Spoiler alert… can you say “resentment?”)
Ask yourself this question: If you could do anything… without worrying about what other people would think of you, what would it be?
It might take some quiet time and soul-searching to get there, especially if you’ve spent your life going after what others want for you, but I promise it’s worth it.
Conclusion
No matter what you dream of for 2025, if you reflect on the past year, identify what you are no longer available for, and make (your own) commitments to the next 12 months, you’ll have a really good shot at achieving it!
If you are ready to learn how to set boundaries, speak up for yourself, and go after what YOU want, my coaching program can help. Let’s chat.
For more information on establishing healthy boundaries in your personal and professional life, visit www.SherylGreenSpeaks.com
About Sheryl Green
Sheryl Green is a Mental Health speaker, author, and the “How to Say No” Expert. She works with individuals and organizations to establish healthy boundaries to improve relationships, communication, and well-being. Her mission is to make the world a better place… one boundary at a time. Learn more about her entertaining and illuminating programs or contact her at 702.885.4309.
Get her How to Say No cheat sheet.
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