Do you trust your gut (aka internal navigation system)?

I drive a Toyota Rav 4. Don’t laugh, it’s actually my dream car. While I didn’t buy it new, I bought it a whole lot newer than any of my previous cars. In fact, I think it’s the first car I’ve owned that was made within the same decade. Needless to say, it’s got some features I’m not used to. Mainly, a backup camera.

Since I started driving at age 16, I’ve perfected the “head on a swivel” move that allows me to see if I’m backing up safely. When my neck is out (it happens… more frequently than I’d like to admit), I actually lift off the seat to twist my whole body around to check. Of course, now, I just have to look at that nice big computer screen on my dashboard, and I can see how close I am to taking out a tree or a fire hydrant.

No longer must I impersonate a giraffe to pull out of a parking spot! Or must I?

You see, after (covers the number with a cough) years of driving, I’m trained to twist and turn. I have to constantly remind myself that there’s this wonderful system aiding me in driving decisions. I have to retrain myself to use the tools to my advantage. One could say it’s almost like training to trust yourself after decades of being taught to ignore your gut instincts…

Boundaries, folks! We’re talking boundaries. Specifically, our internal “navigation” system that notifies us when we should run, screaming in the other direction.

Our Internal Navigation System

Have you ever felt your heart begin to pound when you noticed a stranger following you? Did you ever sigh when you were eating a big meal? What about a crinkle of your nose when you smell something unpleasant?

This is all caused by your body’s Visceral Afferent Messaging System. In non-sciencey terms… your body is talking to you. You’re probably familiar with the term “gut instinct.”

Our bodies know things well before our brains get the memo. Thankfully, we can use this to our advantage when setting boundaries.

Trusting Our Gut

According to an article in Harvard Business Review, “When you approach a decision intuitively, your brain works in tandem with your gut to quickly assess all your memories, past learnings, personal needs, and preferences and then makes the wisest decision given the context.”

What does that mean? Your gut instinct isn’t woo-woo. It’s a biological function that can serve you well… if you learn to listen.

If you’re a people-pleaser, there’s a good chance you’ve been conditioned to allow other people’s needs and wants to override your instincts. Fortunately, you can retrain yourself to tap into that intuition every time you make a decision.

Making Decisions Based on Your Gut Intuition

While you may not have identified it yet, you have a tell. Much like in poker, your body does something unconsciously when you’re facing a decision. Since I’ve been on this boundary journey, I’ve learned that a tightening in my chest, a silent groan of disgust, and putting off a decision are all signs that I don’t want to do whatever is being asked of me. Maybe your tells are similar to mine. Or perhaps they’re entirely different.

I had lunch with a friend of mine this past weekend and she (a health coach) was reading the list of ingredients on a bottle of protein powder when her lip curled up.

“You know, since I read your book, Sheryl, I realized that when I don’t like something or don’t want to do something, my lip curls up ever so slightly. Now, I know when that happens, I need to say No to whatever I’m being asked to do.”

It’s that easy! Once you learn to tap back into your intuition, you’ll learn that you actually already know whether or not you want to do whatever is being asked of you.

5 Steps to Trust Your Gut

Now that you know it’s possible to tap back into that inner knowing (no matter how long it’s been), you probably want to know how. Follow these easy steps, and you and your gut will be best friends in no time.

1. Step out of a fear state.

The most important aspect of listening to your gut is making sure that your fear isn’t using your intuition as a ventriloquist dummy. In order to do this, you need to pause and take a couple of deep breaths to calm your nervous system. If your heart is racing or your breathing is fast (and you’re not exercising), you are in a fear state. Use a 4-sided breath to override your fear and tap into your intuition. Do this by placing your tongue on the roof of your mouth and breathing in through your nose for four breaths, holding it for four breaths, breathing out through your nose for 4 breaths, and holding it for four breaths.  Repeat this for a few minutes before checking in to your gut.

2. Sit in silence.

Eventually, you’ll be able to discern what your body is telling you, no matter what’s happening around you. For now, it would be best to sit in a quiet space uninterrupted and just listen to what thoughts cross your mind and what feelings are in your body. You can even place a hand on your chest and a hand on your belly to focus inward.

3. Practice with small decisions.

Just like setting boundaries, your gut intuition is a muscle to be strengthened. Start out with a small decision. Breathe, tap into your body, and feel what comes up. Then, follow through on it. If it wasn’t the right decision, make a note of that and try again. If it was the right decision, celebrate!

4. Avoid silencing your emotions.

Part of having healthy emotional boundaries is not allowing others (or yourself) to invalidate your feelings. If you feel sad, acknowledge it. “In this moment, I feel sad.” If you feel angry, acknowledge it. “In this moment, I feel angry.” Trust that whatever is coming up for you is a legitimate feeling. The more you learn to trust yourself, the better you will be at tapping into your tells.

5. Journal

You are embarking on a discovery journey just like a scientist or explorer. Jot down any time you are asked to do something, invited to attend something, or offered an “opportunity.” What did you notice about your body when the question or request was posed? Pay special attention to your throat, heart, stomach, and facial expressions. Somewhere in there, you will find your tell. Once you do, write it down along with the circumstances and what you choose to do with this information. Then, circle back and jot down what came of it.

These five steps will help you tap into intuition and make decisions based on your gut instincts rather than other people’s priorities.

Conclusion

Our guts are powerful tools for building healthy boundaries. Trust that you already have the innate knowledge you need to make decisions in your best interest. You just have to start listening to yourself.

If you’d like some help learning how to listen to yourself, I’m here! I’m offering free Boundary Discovery calls to help you uncover what’s holding you back and give you the tools to move forward. Book a discovery call today, and let’s chat.

About Sheryl Green

Sheryl Green is a Mental Health speaker and author and the “How to Say No” Expert. She works with individuals and organizations to establish healthy boundaries to improve relationships, communication, and well-being. Her mission is to make the world a better place… one boundary at a time. Learn more about her entertaining and illuminating programs or contact her at 702.885.4309.

Get her How to Say No cheat sheet.