Have you ever examined the different aspects of your life and made the conscious decision to “edit” what doesn’t belong?

You may have heard that when Michelangelo was asked how he carved the statue of David from a slab of marble, he said, “All I did was chip away everything that didn’t look like David.” Now, it’s been suggested that he never actually said this, but it’s the perfect quote, so we’re just going to go with it… mmmkay?

If this epic sculptor was able to create his iconic work of art by chipping away everything that didn’t belong on the finished masterpiece, we can use this strategy to create our own personal works of art.

Sheryl, what are you talking about? I can barely draw a stick figure.

Well, our greatest gift to the world, our masterpiece if you will, is the life we choose to live. And it’s really difficult to lead that life if it’s cluttered down by a bunch of unwanted and unneeded crap.

That being said, I’d like to introduce to you… queue the trumpets… the life edit.

In this blog, you are going to learn how to say No to what you don’t want so you can make space for what you do.

That sounds like boundaries, Sheryl. Are you talking about boundaries?

Yes, grasshopper. If you’re ready to create the life you actually WANT to live, it’s time to learn how to edit and set the healthy boundaries that will keep you focused. Hang in there for a bit. We’re about to get existential.

What Matters Most?

In Bronnie Ware’s work in palliative care, leading to her book, The Top 5 Regrets of The Dying, she found that at the end of life, people said:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
5. I wish that I had left myself be happier

Whoa. If you need a minute, go grab a tissue. I don’t want you shorting out your keyboard.

Not to be a bummer, but if your time on this planet were over tomorrow, how many of these would be weighing on your soul?

Do you know what’s not on this list?

• I wish I’d accumulated more stuff
• I wish I’d had more followers on Instagram or X
• I wish I’d won an award for “most willing to give up my free time to do someone else’s work”

Or any other number of ridiculous ways in which we zap our time, money, energy, brain power, etc.

Before you attempt a life edit, it’s important to get really clear on what matters most to you. What do you want your legacy to be when you leave this big spinning rock we call home? Who do you want to impact and how do you want to be remembered?

Make a list. Actually, make several (more on that in a moment). However, whatever you add to that list, make sure it’s going to support your legacy.

Here are your categories:

1. Physical Wellness
2. Mental Health
3. Financial
4. Career
5. Home
6. Relationships
7. Digital

What do you want out of life in these 7 categories? Yeah, “digital” seems a bit of a place in this list, but in our technologically addicted society, it’s definitely an area that requires an edit.

Where Do You Spend Your Time and Energy?

Now that you’ve got your categories and some ideas of what you want to see in each, it’s time to get really real with yourself and evaluate how you are currently doing. This is a judgment-free zone. We have to know where we are starting in order to know how to get where we want to go.

We do this by looking at our calendars, our energy levels, and where we focus our attention on any given day. Ask yourself these questions:

1. What matters to you and how much time do you spend pursuing it?
2. What doesn’t matter to you and how much time do you spend doing it, cleaning it, worrying about it, or feeling bad that you aren’t handling it for someone else?

This isn’t an overnight process. You’ll want to look at a week or so snapshot in your life to understand what you’re truly focusing on. However, you may be surprised at what you say you “want” out of life, and how little time you’ve currently dedicating to achieving it.

How Do you Clear Space?

I’ve read a lot of books on Feng Shui (ancient Chinese practice that uses energy forces to create harmony between people and their surroundings) and if I were to break it down into the most simplistic terms (like, really simplistic), I would say, “You have to make room for what you want.”

For example, if you’re single and eager to attract a romantic partner into your life, you must clear space for them.  Clean out half your closet, empty half of your dresser, and put a nightstand on the other side of the bed (instead of just having one). Oh, and stop dating the person that keeps telling you they don’t want a commitment.

Sound too woo woo for you?

Well, look at it this way: Can you fit another person’s crap in your house right now? No? Time to purge.

Make space.

Say No to what you don’t want so you can say yes to what you do.

• No time to pursue your passion project or tinker around with your hobbies (stick figures are a legitimate form of art – don’t let anyone tell you otherwise)? Maybe it’s time to say No to an event you aren’t excited about attending.
• Finding it difficult to lose weight and maintain the level of health you’re striving for? Maybe it’s time to make a “no cookies in the house” edict.
• Can’t find a place for those beautiful flowers your partner just brought home or that great sweater your sister sent you? Clear off your counters, clean out your closet, get rid of the clutter!

As you go through your categories, identify the areas you want to work on and take a look at what’s standing in the way of your goals. This may mean saying no to future commitments, finding a job or career that’s more aligned with your lifestyle goals, focusing on delayed gratification rather than immediate pleasure, or even stepping back from relationships that are no longer serving you.

Please note: do not make life-changing decisions without understanding the ramifications and having a plan. You can throw out your old sofa tomorrow, but please don’t quit your job without some planning.

Conclusion

A life edit is about setting your priorities and then clearing your plate of everything that doesn’t matter. You don’t need a health scare or an end-of-life reflection to identify what matters most, and throw every ounce of your effort into achieving it.

And no doubt my husband will celebrate when I do this, but here I go… quoting country music.

“Someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying, like tomorrow was a gift, and you’ve got eternity to think about what you’d do with it, what could I do with it, what would I do with it?” – Tim McGraw

If you are ready to learn how to set boundaries, speak up for yourself, and go after what YOU want, my coaching program can help. Let’s chat.

For more information on establishing healthy boundaries in your personal and professional life, visit www.SherylGreenSpeaks.com

About Sheryl Green

Sheryl Green is a Mental Health speaker, author, and the “How to Say No” Expert. She works with individuals and organizations to establish healthy boundaries to improve relationships, communication, and well-being. Her mission is to make the world a better place… one boundary at a time. Learn more about her entertaining and illuminating programs or contact her at 702.885.4309.

Get her How to Say No cheat sheet.