When Did Your Ketchup Expire?

My refrigerator is a very scary place. Not like Ghostbusters scary with an evil dog/monster creature that will ultimately lead to possession. It’s not even a “Bachelor Fridge,” a barren wasteland with a case of beer and three-week old pizza languishing in the box. No, I shop for healthy foods… sometimes I even cook and eat them. Other times, they sit in my fridge until months later when a friend comes over for dinner, finds one of these “science projects” and spends the next 20 minutes rummaging through the recesses and making tsk noises every time she finds an expired product.

It’s not that I don’t notice this random food growing fur. On the contrary, every time I open my fridge, I see a plastic container with canned pumpkin staring back at me (it’s good for my pup’s belly) or cut up red and yellow peppers that were intended for a salad but are now destined for the trash. I keep them in the fridge because I want to be someone who eats salads regularly. But there they sit. A few days later, I refuse to throw them out because: 1) I feel awfully guilty about wasting food and 2) They might still be good and if I throw them out, I’m accepting that they won’t get eaten 3) What does it say about me if I don’t eat them?

I’m not a nutritionist, and clearly I’m not a food safety-ologist (yeah, they probably have better names than that). What I am, and what I suspect you are as well, is someone who holds on to things for too long for the wrong reasons.

As we begin a new year and a new decade, is there anything that you can let go of?

Of course, take a few minutes and purge the expired products in your fridge and pantry, but this healthy release has less to do with the baking potato that’s seen too much and has the eyes to prove it, and more to do with what we’re carrying inside of us.

Are there stories that you’ve been telling yourself for years that no longer serve you? Perhaps an identity you’ve held on to because it’s all you know how to be? Maybe you’ve set goals that have trickled over from one year to the next but no longer light a fire inside you? Or, are there people in your life that no longer belong there?

Letting go is never easy. However, if you’d like to embrace all that life has to offer, become the best version of yourself, and get the heck out of your own way… it’s a necessary step.

Take some time out of your busy world to reflect on what is no longer serving you.

How to Clear the Refrigerator of Your Life

We’re going to focus on three different areas: the stories you’ve come to believe, the goals you’ve set, and the people who surround you.

Story Un-Telling

A few years ago, I attended a personal development workshop where one of the attendees used “lazy” as an excuse for not being further along in his business. The facilitator spent the next 5 minutes having us scan our bodies for the “lazy bone.” Apparently, being lazy is just one of those stories that we tell ourselves enough times to internalize it. Perhaps something happened (or didn’t happen) that makes you believe you’re lazy. Or maybe a parent or teacher called you that as a child and your not-yet-fully-developed brain latched onto it like a newborn kitten suckling its mother.

Do not stop writing to go look at cat videos, Sheryl. Do not stop writing.

Phew, got through that. So, what stories are you holding onto? What have you told yourself that you suspect might be a big load of B.S.?

Here’s a quick way to tackle this. Write down the top 5 excuses or apologies that you use. These might be what you tell other people to shirk responsibility or what you tell yourself.  Write them down and then disprove them. Think you’re lazy? Did you start a business? Write a book? Raise a family? Head up a project at work? Paint? Invite friends over for a dinner party? Jot down all the ways that you are indeed NOT lazy. Once you’ve shown yourself that the story is garbage, put it there. Cross out the line. Rip up the paper. Burn it (in a safe, controlled environment – please don’t sue me if you burn your house down.) Do whatever you need to do to remove that crud from your life.

Now of course, maybe you really are lazy. Harsh, but it has to be said. If you have pizza boxes lying around your house, you haven’t showered in 3 weeks, and your dog has just posted himself on Next Door looking for a new owner that actually takes walks… you might actually be lazy. Or, you might have just allowed that belief to dictate your actions. There’s still hope.

First, take your dog for a walk. The poor pup deserves some fresh air.

Next, stop telling yourself that you’re lazy. Change your words. For example, “I’m lazy” becomes “This is not where I’ve chosen to spend my energy.” This way, you aren’t denying that you have energy, and you’re taking responsibility for where you put it.

Finally, identify what you’d like to do differently going forward… and do it. Too simple?  Does it bring up more stories? Repeat the process until you run out of excuses. (But seriously, take the dog for a walk first. This introspection might take awhile.)

Goal Un-Setting

Oh how we love our goals! Whether you fall into the Set them and Forget them  category and never look at your goals again, or the Stew over them every week and beat yourself up because you haven’t reached them yet category (yeah, not as catchy a name on this one), there may be a reason why you aren’t reaching your goals.

You don’t care anymore.

Whaaaat!?! How could that be? You decided you want to do something. What could possibly change that? Hmm… I don’t know… growth? A change in life circumstance? A different overall life direction? When I first moved to Las Vegas, I decided that I wanted to write and publish fiction. I wrote 3 novels… and then I stopped caring. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy writing, but my focus shifted. My life goals changed and writing a novel no longer seemed that important. Weird twist – publishing fiction is back on my radar now. I’m still formulating my 2020 goals, but it’s pretty safe to say that publishing my first novel, The Diary Killer, will be on my list.

Can you imagine if I didn’t take it off my to-do list a few years ago? Can you imagine if it just rolled over from one year to the next? I’d be so tired of looking at the damn goal that I’d probably never pick up a pen (or laptop) again.

If your goals don’t excite you, you may just not what to do them anymore. That’s perfectly okay. Take a look at your “roll over” list and see what’s been haunting your goal setting for too long. Check out The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte to learn how to set goals with soul.

Once you’ve purged the moldy goals, you’ll have the emotional space, the mental bandwidth, and the time to pursue new, healthy goals.

Narrowing Your Social Circle

If everyone in your world fills you with joy, support, positivity, and unconditional love, you can just go ahead and skip this section. Even feel free to look at a few cat videos to fill the time.

However, if there is someone in your life who makes you feel icky, or drags down your Woohoo, or is constantly talking crap about other people… they are past their expiration date.

No, don’t kill them!

But you probably need to remove them from your life or at least your heart. Sometimes, like with a coworker or a family member, you can’t completely excise the relationship. However, you can limit your exposure to them or at least strive to keep them out of your head.

If ending the relationship/friendship/client relationship/etc. is a possibility, be kind. I say this for two reasons. The first reason is that you don’t actually want to hurt them, you just want them to stop hurting you. The second, is because we live in a very small world. When you burn bridges, it will come back to bite you in the butt at some point.

An added note because it’s something I’ve been dealing with and suspect you might be as well. Sometimes, a relationship goes south. You don’t necessarily want to (or can’t) remove the person completely from your life, but you certainly don’t want the same connection you’ve had in the past. When this happens, you might be feeling guilt about it. You might even feel like you’re holding a grudge and you should just get over it. After all, they apologized. Isn’t that enough?

This meme popped up on my Instagram a few days ago and I had a definite “Whoah” moment.

“Sometimes, you have to let people know, it’s not a grudge I’m holding on to. These are boundaries I’m holding on to.”

Protect yourself from the people you need to protect yourself from and never apologize for taking care of yourself.

Yikes. I feel like we got a bit deep there towards the end.

You’ve got a new year ahead of you. Get rid of the emotions, the goals, the people, and the produce that is no longer serving you. Clean out your life refrigerator and maybe check the expiration date on your condiments more than once a decade.

About the Author

Sheryl Green is a New York native living and thawing in Las Vegas since 2008. After years of begging for money to support animal rescue, she discovered Cause Marketing and her life was forever changed. She now brings her knowledge of storytelling to non-fiction and content writing, working with businesses and individuals who want to position themselves as experts in their field and differentiate themselves from the competition.

Sheryl is the author of 4 books and serves as the Director of Communications and Cuddling for Hearts Alive Village Las Vegas. Learn more at www.sherylgreenspeaks.com.