In “Saved by the Smartphone Part 1,” you learned how to use the Do Not Disturb function on your cellphone to curb the influx of flamboyant squirrels while you’re attempting to focus on a specific task. Hopefully, you’ve put this little marvel into play a few times and can now do what you need to do in a reasonable amount of time.

There’s another way to use your cellphone for good. Let’s take a look at a potential situation that may strike a chord.

You finally got your “work” hours to a reasonable schedule. Perhaps family and friends know that you work 9-5 (or whatever your schedule may be) and are not available to assist them with whatever they may need during those hours. But what about the rest of the time? Just because your job or business doesn’t lay claim to your “free” time doesn’t mean that others can.

While the details may differ, I’m willing to bet you’ve gotten a request on your time and thought to yourself, “I guess I could help them since I’m not working… but man, I’d really like just to take it easy.”

The Downside of Saying Yes

Driven by guilt, we often say yes when we really want to say no. In the above situation, you probably agreed to help and then spent the rest of the day huffing and puffing about the injustice. You may feel resentful, angry, and tired.

And the potential negative outcomes aren’t just internal. As I mentioned in my book You Had Me At No: How Setting Healthy Boundaries Helps Banish Burnout, Repair Relationships, and Save Your Sanity, if you agree to do something you don’t have the time or bandwidth to handle, you may do a half-assed job, letting down whoever it is you agreed to help.

So, what do we do about it? Well, allow me to introduce you to the two most powerful functions on your cellphone.

Using Your Smartphone to Set Boundaries

We do love our cellphones, don’t we? But they’re not just for doom scrolling and playing games. We can use our phones to establish boundaries and protect our most important resource… time.

Calendar

If I’m being honest, I resisted using a digital calendar for years. There was just something about writing tasks down, using different colored pens, and decorating with washi tape and stickers that really appealed to me. Unfortunately, I never had my planner with me when I was making appointments, and I was dropping balls and missing meetings left and right. After a particularly brutal mental lapse, I gave in and set up my Google calendar.

Cue the angels singing.

While the digital calendar was a game-changer for me, just having one doesn’t automatically set healthy boundaries. I wouldn’t learn that for another few years.

When I began dating my now-husband, he quickly noticed that I was running around like a headless chicken (or a Flash Dance–inspired rodent), utilizing every bit of my free time to help others. We sat down at my computer one day, and he took a look at my calendar. I had my “work” hours blocked out, but besides that, my schedule was a boundary violation waiting to happen.

“You need to block off time for you. If you’ve got nothing scheduled, you’ll fill it with other people’s priorities.”

Whoah. I’d heard about “paying yourself” when it came to budgeting and finances, but I’d never heard of paying yourself first with time.

We took the next hour to block out my schedule for the foreseeable future. You can call it whatever you want, color code it however you’d like, and pick whatever times work for your lifestyle, but mine is filled with purple blocks in the morning, for lunch, and after 5 p.m.

Every single week’s calendar starts off the same. The purple sections are non-negotiable. If people need me to do something, I schedule it during “free” time. If someone wants me to do something for them and I don’t have time available, I get to say no.

I saw this great meme floating around the interweb: “I didn’t say no because I’m busy. I said no because I don’t want to be.”

Your digital calendar can be a force for good in your boundary journey. Block off time for yourself, and then uphold your boundary by sticking to it! Of course, emergencies happen. When a friend or loved one truly needs you (I mean truly), it’s acceptable (and potentially necessary) to drop what you’re doing and go running.

If you missed the function on your smartphone that can save you time and sanity, read “Saved by the Smartphone Part 1.” You can also visit www.YouHadMeAtNo.com to get more boundary-setting hacks and order a copy of my book.

Happy boundary setting!