“If you let everyone pick your brain, your brain will be picked clean.”
If you’re an expert in any subject, there’s a good chance that someone has, at some point, asked you for advice about whatever you do. Perhaps you’re an accountant with extensive knowledge of tax codes. Maybe you’re a social media consultant who has finally cracked the code when it comes to posting for maximum engagement. You might even be a doctor who has never escaped a family dinner without being asked to look at a mole.
No matter what your vocation, you have something in common… you need boundaries.
A few weeks ago, I was exposed to a graceful and kind display of professional boundaries. This person balanced generosity and self-respect in a way I never knew existed. Frankly, I’m impressed.
Writing a book is no piece of cake. But marketing a book? That’s a whole other story.
“You Had Me At No” was just a few weeks from going live and I needed some guidance. I reached out to someone in the field to ask a question. I’d worked with this individual before, and they’d always been incredibly kind and supportive. Not only did they answer my question, but they also offered time on their calendar to give me some other ideas. Very appreciative, I booked time and eagerly awaited our call.
It was worth the wait. After 45 minutes, I had 9 action items (ranked in order of importance) to execute. This newsletter was one of them.
“I hope this was valuable for you,” they said.
“Yes!” I practically shouted.
“Today is no charge. I want to see you succeed, and I’m happy to help you. There may come a time when you have more questions. You may be uncomfortable coming to me because you don’t want to take advantage. So you know, my regular rate is X. I will charge you the Family and Friends rate of Y. That way, you can come to me whenever you need help.”
They were right. I was going to have more questions, and I would’ve felt terrible asking for more valuable time.
I thanked them again and then hopped off the phone and recreated the “We’re not worthy” scene in Wayne’s World when Wayne and Garth met Alice Cooper.
Here I was, a brand-new book on boundaries coming out, and I was wowed by this artful and kind display of boundary setting. That’s the thing: boundaries aren’t just there for you. Boundaries help other people understand your expectations so they can avoid yucky feeling situations. Boundaries save relationships.
How about you? Have you ever experienced phenomenal boundary setting? Have you ever had a relationship damaged because of poor boundaries? I’d love to know!
And if you’d like to learn more about how setting healthy boundaries can change your life (for the better!), be sure to grab your copy of “You Had Me At No” now on Amazon.
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