A few years ago, I was a Counselor in a Day Treatment Facility for the severely mentally Ill. One of our clients believed that they needed to donate 100% of their income to charity.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m a HUGE proponent of philanthropy and supporting nonprofits and causes that you care about. However, I’m also a proponent of boundaries. And when it comes to “giving,” we need to find a way to give sustainably.

A Case for Giving

Just about every major religion has some concept of donations.

• Judaism: Traditional Jews give at least ten percent of their income to charity. As a child, I remember having a little metal box (pushke) in the house to put coins in as tzedakah.
• Christianity: While a 10% tithe is based on the Old Testament, the New Testament encourages Christians to give generously, sacrificially, and cheerfully (though it doesn’t mandate a specific amount).
• Wicca or Paganism – No specific donation requirement, however there is a belief that whatever you put out into the world (good or bad) comes back three-fold.
• Mormonism – A 10% tithe to the church is seen as a duty and test of faithfulness.
• Islam: Zakat is obligatory tithing to church, sadaqah is a voluntary donation to charity.
• Hinduism and Buddhism practice Dana, which includes giving, sharing, and selfless giving without anticipation of return or benefit to the giver.

However you look at it, most (if not all) major religions and belief systems advocate for some level of charity or at least being a good human being. Don’t subscribe to a specific religion? That’s cool too. Giving is good for business, our community, and our mental and physical health.

According to Megan Hays, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist at the University of Alabama at Birmingham, “Giving back has been shown to boost happiness, reduce stress, enhance self-esteem, and strengthen social connections.”   Hays says, “Engaging in acts of generosity activates the brain’s reward system, fostering positive emotions and a sense of purpose.”

Sheryl, if giving is so good for you… why are you cautioning us?

Sustainable Giving

While giving of your money, time, and talents is wonderful, too much can be dangerous.

For example, after my client was kicked out of two apartments for not paying their rent on time, a case worker had to take over their finances so their living expenses could be paid BEFORE everything was given away.

If you don’t give sustainably, if you don’t set boundaries around your money and your time, you won’t be able to help anyone for very long.

Create a Giving Plan

When it comes to donating your money (and time, too, but we will focus on monetary donations here), you need to have a plan. You can craft one by answering these questions:

1. What cause(s) do you want to support?
2. What organizations do you want to support?
3. How often are you able/willing to donate?
4. How much are you able/willing to donate?

Before we dive deeper, it’s important to note that if you are married or have a significant otter (not a typo) with whom you share finances, this should be a joint decision. If you’ve got children, why not include them in the discussion? It’s never too early to teach the basics of giving to others.

Grab your swim goggles. We’re ready to dive!

1. What cause do you want to support?

What matters to you? If your grandparent or parent served in the military, maybe you have a soft spot for veterans. Did your parents struggle with food insecurity when you were growing up? Maybe you’ll want to support a food bank. If you lost a loved one to a specific disease, you may want to donate to research or support for people with that disease. If your best friend has four legs and a tail, perhaps your cause is animal rescue or welfare.

Choosing a cause is a deeply personal decision. And don’t worry, there are plenty of societal challenges to choose from. Find one or several that matter most to you and your family.

2. What organization do you want to support?

There are approximately 2 million nonprofits registered in the United States. And trust me, all nonprofits are NOT created equal. Do your homework. Follow the organization for a bit and see what they do, who they help, and how they handle their donations. You can look at websites like Guidestar.org to see how your potential organization is rated. Ask for tours if they have a facility, talk to volunteers or board members.

And as former “overhead” for a nonprofit, please don’t be horrified that nonprofits pay their employees. Just because someone cares about a cause enough to work for it, doesn’t mean they themselves don’t have bills to pay.

3. How often are you able/willing to donate?

Again, this is a personal decision and will depend on your finances and how you choose to structure your giving. However, you may also want to check in with the nonprofit. Some organizations prefer a lump sum at the beginning or end of the year, whereas others may appreciate monthly donations so they know they have consistent money coming in. This will all vary by the size of the organization you choose to support, what type of services or programs they provide, and how their bills come in.

4. How much are you able/willing to donate?

This is the question of the day, isn’t it?

Again, this is a deeply personal decision. There is no “one size fits all” approach to giving. Give what you can afford to give while still meeting your own needs. If 10% of your income feels good, and allows you to pay your bills and create a cushion for your family, amazing. If you can do more, wonderful! If you can only donate 1% of what you bring in… that’s okay too! And if you are living paycheck to paycheck and the thought of donating any amount of money gives you heart palpitations, consider volunteering your time or talents.

Whatever you do, don’t put yourself in a precarious financial situation. Whether it’s money, time, or energy, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

“It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.” – Mother Theresa

An Example Plan

While I’ve always donated a portion of my income, and my husband has always donated a portion of his, we’ve never done so intentionally or strategically. Last month, we sat down and had a conversation. I’m about to share what we came up with. Again (I can’t stress this enough), this works for us. It doesn’t mean anyone else needs to follow it. This is just an example of what we came up with.

Here we go:

For next year, we plan to donate 10% of our income, with the goal of bumping that up to 25-30% over the next few years.

We are planning for a 30/30/30 split of those funds.

• 30% will go to animal rescue because animals are amazing. We have not yet determined whether we will support a single organization or multiple organizations.
• 30% will go to my husband’s church.
• 30% will go to support foster children. My husband is adopted, so this cause is very close to his heart.

This donation will likely be given at one time.

Sheryl, your math isn’t mathing.

It will, I promise.

Throughout the year, we inevitably end up attending events, visiting nonprofits, learning about new organizations, or finding individuals that we want to support. That’s the 10%. It’s like a donation slush fund. We will know that after the 90% goes out, we will have 10% to play with and give to whatever organization(s) catch our attention.

Will the causes or the organizations change the next year? Probably. Will we have more to donate if it turns out to be an incredible year? Yup. This isn’t set in stone, but it does create a guideline to follow so we can give sustainably.

Conclusion

In the words of Winston Churchill, “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”

Give what you can. Support the amazing organizations that are boots on the ground, solving problems.

However, like every other aspect of our lives, we need to have boundaries. Look at your budget before making any decisions. You must take care of yourself and your family, ensuring that your needs are met. Once you have done that, give with your heart and you won’t end up resentful or in financial ruin.

Are you ready to live a Boundaried Life™? My new community will be opening soon. Learn more.

About

Sheryl Green is an author, speaker, and boundary expert.

With a background in psychology and extensive experience working with leadership teams, nonprofits, and professional organizations, she empowers audiences to integrate practical boundaries into workplace culture and personal leadership.

Sheryl is the author of multiple books, including You Had Me At No. Her programs blend research-backed strategies with real-world tools, providing both immediate impact and long-term cultural change.