“You’re so sensitive!”
It’s a statement I’ve heard throughout my entire life, and truth be told, I’d grown to hate it. Sure, I can cry at the drop of a hat (or an Instagram video). Of course, I pick up on people’s emotions and then take them on as if they’re my own. And yes, if I accidentally drink a caffeinated beverage after 12:15 p.m., I can expect to clean out a closet or 3 (while cursing the barista in my mind) before I finally collapse into bed at 2 a.m.
But is being “too sensitive” really a bad thing?
When I began my boundary journey, I came across the term “Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).” I’d never heard of it, but after reading the description, my interest was piqued. I bought the book of the same name by Elaine N. Aron and dove in.
There’s nothing quite like the relief associated with finding something that not only describes you perfectly but gives you permission to be who you are and actually outlines why it’s a good thing. Learning I was an HSP explained so many things, like:
- Why loud music and repetitive noises impact me the way they do.
- Why I can’t handle caffeine.
- Why I’m only comfortable within a 10-degree temperature window. Let’s be honest… five degrees. Okay, fine… two degrees!
- Why I’m able to pick up when other people are uncomfortable and help to make them more comfortable.
- Why, if I don’t eat every two hours or so, I will figuratively and literally chew someone’s face off.
- Why I am VERY expressive when it comes to sadness or being overwhelmed and can cry at the slightest provocation.
- Why after a certain amount of mental stimulation, my nervous system is like, “So long, suckas! I’m out!” and I must retreat into solitude and quiet.
Being an HSP can be both a blessing and a curse.
The cool thing is that the world can’t survive without us HSP’s. When others are charging ahead without a care in the world, we are the ones hanging back and yelling, “Wait a moment… do you really think that’s a good idea? Let’s talk about this before you pillage the situation.” Being sensitive to your own emotions, as well as the needs of others, is a good thing… WITHIN REASON. Some of the qualities of an HSP are actually quite positive and can make us better partners, friends, parents, children, and humans.
The downside occurs when we are incredibly attuned to other people’s emotions AND we believe that we have the power to change those emotions. When this happens, we get involved in situations that we don’t need to get involved in and try to fix problems we have no ability (or responsibility) to fix. In other words, unhealthy boundaries are running amok.
It’s important to realize that even as HSPs, we have a responsibility to protect our own emotions. We simply cannot put others’ well-being ahead of our own. Some may see this as a selfish act, but in reality, it’s the most altruistic thing we can do. Protecting our own mental health means, we will be around and in the proper condition to help others for a long time to come.
Now, when someone says I’m “so sensitive,” I just say thank you. They’re right. And the world needs me. I’m proud of who I am.
How about you? If any of the above resonated with you, take The Highly Sensitive Person test. You just might find the permission to be you!
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